Dear full-length mirrors,
I remember there was a time in my life, maybe 8 to 10, where I avoided all mirrors religiously. Looking back at it, that was insane. I have zero recollection of what I looked like during those years through my own eyes. I just know that mirrors were the bane of my existence then. Many of my friends back then thought I was insane and truly I was. But we are a product of our environment and my environment pretty much said "You're not beautiful, your own reflection is scarring".
These days, it's fortunately a different thing. I can look into multiple mirrors as a matter of fact. Except for the dreaded full length mirror *shudders. Those are still a sore subject for me. And great for me, my school has a whole room lined
with them ( seriously who thought of that? I just want to have a chat).
Full length mirrors are surely the work of the devil, no other expectation. I used to do dance in this room full of mirrors. And just as one would think it was traumatising. There's a difference between standing in front of a mirror and actually MOVING your body in front of one. I didn't want to traumatise myself like that so I avoided those mirrors like the plague. But once in a while I would catch a small glimpse of my body in them and that would ruin my whole day.
As I've said once before, it hurts worse breaking your own heart.
I truly await the day, I look into a full length mirror and think: "You know what, I actually look okay". Not beautiful, not hot, just okay. Basically the standards
are in hell. It took a lot of time to be comfortable even just looking at my face. I was disappointed with the face I've had all my life. The face that was produced by my ancestors is a combination of different DNAs. I was ashamed. Still am...Sometimes.
I envy anyone who looks at themselves without even thinking twice about it. Like I want to be THAT kind of psychopath. The crazy person who looks at themselves at the end of the day and doesn't think: "Wow, I really walked around looking like that, the whole day". Ayone who does that, actually deserves awards: "Congratulations, you don't need therapy. You're hot".
I always wonder if I'm alone in this. Are there any fellow "mirror-avoiders"? Do other people also hate full length
mirrors? Because everyone I know walks into that mirror room in school and actually looks at themselves. Their face doesn't change, they're not disappointed, they don't look away immediately after, they seem...content. Which is psycho behaviour if you ask me.
In conclusion, full length mirrors suck and don't even get me started on full length pictures. I don't need to remember all that trauma. I don't know, love yourself, live,love , laugh, bla bla bla and all that.
Song:
Mirror Talk - Griff
Comments